I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
