I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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