I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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