me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
