Just fell off a train. Bad.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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