My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm lost and stupid without you.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
