The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
