Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
