Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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