Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
