She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
