there's paper in my vomit.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
