Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
where are my eyebrows?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
