so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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