...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
