We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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