I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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