I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
