I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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