We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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