Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
