your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
