I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
