Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
