I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
