i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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