420 ftw
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
