wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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