I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
