It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
