So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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