What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
