my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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