yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
