yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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