member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
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