drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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