Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
