these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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