I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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