highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
