I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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