u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
