I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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