I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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