Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
