Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm like, not good at living.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
