idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
