I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
