Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
