I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
