Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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